Unfinished Solo Duet
by lily day
Summary: Every night Sasuke plays his flute alone. But who hears him? Yaoi. KakaSasu ages have been changed.FINISHED
1. Where were you when I was lonesome?

Lily: i'm writing two stories, one will be a Sasu/Naru, the other, a Kaka/Sasu. I'll put up the first chapter for each and whichever one gets the most amount of votes in one week is the one i'll continue. The Sasu/Naru one is called Beast: Ki-Tsu-Ne'. And the Kaka/Sasu one, this one, is called Unfinished Solo Duet'.  
Phantom: ok something weird happened with ff.net and this story got taken down. we're putting it back up with this note: IN THIS STORY, SASUKE IS 18. happy, stupid shota flamers?  
  
  
Unfinished Solo Duet  
Chapter One  
Where Were You When I Was Lonesome?  
  
Sasuke held his flute up to his soft lips. He positioned his long fingers. He blew softly. A sigh of sound came out. The start of a sad song. The start of a duet with only one voice. A song where two people are meant to play, but one is gone. The moon glowed a thick orange, tinting the silver purity of the flute and the obsidian loneliness of Sasuke's concentrated gaze.  
  
Sasuke had played this way for many a night. Sitting on the roof, with only the stars and moon as his silent audience, showing no sign of appreciation for his music, although they surely did appreciate it. Every song that Sasuke played was sad, desperate and somehow unfinished. Every song was a plea.  
  
Where were you? Where were you when I needed you the most? Mother, Father? Who will take away the pain now that you're gone? Who? Tell me, in the name of God, tell me. It's getting so hard... so hard alone. Alone. Alone.  
  
Those were the unspoken lyrics that wove their way into Sasuke's music.  
  
But Sasuke's music didn't go as unheard and unappreciated as he thought. A tall man sat in the shadows, his hair as silvery as the flute. The music reverberated and wheeled around in the confines of Kakashi's mind. It sounded so familiar to him, so intimate. And it should feel that way, for that lonely song was the same one that played in Kakashi's heart. His own solo duet, played out by the rhythm of his heart beat.   
  
Kakashi stood there every night, listening to Sasuke play and every night he told himself that he wouldn't come back and every night he returned. He knew he shouldn't do this, obsessing over a student. Was he obsessing? It seemed so much more. Was Sasuke a student? _He_ seemed so much more.  
  
Inwardly, Kakashi marveled at how everyday Sasuke would come to class, icy, cold, and emotionless and yet he could come sit on this roof every night and pour his heart out to the unlistening world. Kakashi wished he could do more than just be his sensei, hiding behind a book and instructing him what to do. It wasn't even to be the one training Sasuke to kill Itachi, the act they may completely melt the ice around his heart. Kakashi wanted to be more. He wanted to make Sasuke melt.  
  
Kakashi couldn't stand feeling like this, he didn't know how to handle it, it was new emotion to him.  
  
Lily: this story's a whole lot more fast moving and imagery based than the other.  
Phantom: i'm quite proud of myself for thinking up this one.  



	2. Locked away with freezing cold

Lily: incase you were wondering, the chapters are named after a song by Moby. When It's Cold I'd Like To Die' i thought it fit the story. Ok, because this story accidentally got deleted and i therefore have no reviews, i shall continue BOTH stories!!! MuaHahAHahAhahHa!  
Phantom: she gets like this sometimes...  
Fly-Girl: especially when she's PMSing.  
Lily: but, partly due to raging PMS of doom, i am depressed and will not update on a regular basis! OH! and they're making a Shaman King anime, it'll be on Fox september 6th! *runs off to eat chocolate*  
Phantom: -.-  
  
  
Unfinished Solo Duet  
Chapter Two  
Locked Away With Freezing Cold  
  
Sasuke looked up at the iron gray sky, hazy with clouds. Small snowflakes drifted down, to settle like a blanket over everything. He glared at the sky and thought aloud,  
I hate the cold. Makes me want to die.  
And why would that be? said a mild voice from behind him. Sasuke whirled around to see Kakashi standing behind him, snow mingled in his hair, making it even more crystalline than usual. Sasuke flushed and forced down a gasp. he hated not being able to know if someone was there.  
  
I don't have to tell you, snapped Sasuke, his voice as cold and as cutting as the air.  
Fine, keep it to yourself, then. Kakashi actually sounded hurt. And he was. The idea of Sasuke dying was, to him, horrible. Kakashi wanted to know why something as ordinary as the weather could make the one he love- one of his students, he corrected himself, want to die.  
  
Sasuke had sensed the hurt in Kakashi's voice and relented.  
My parents died in winter. Plus, I just don't like the cold. It reminds me of things that are lost, forgotten, gone and dead. Sasuke ended abruptly as he saw Naruto approach.  
Hey, Sasuke! said Naruto as he breathed on his fingers to keep them warm.  
Nothing, idiot.  
  
Leave me alone.  
Fine then, ice prince. I will. This weather suits you.  
  
Sasuke ground his teeth and dug his feet into the snow. Kakashi, sensing that Sasuke was going to do something with a high fatality rate, cut in between the two boys.  
  
Sasuke, Naruto. Today we'll be doing an extra activity. I've canceled our usual mission for the day and I've signed us all up to go help build the Winter Solstice igloo!  
All right! shouted Naruto excitedly.  
  
Every year, the village honored the Winter Solstice by building a giant ice house, an igloo. It was always great fun to participate in it's construction. On December 21st the whole village would gather within the glittering palace of ice and snow, they would stay there, sitting with their families, talking, eating and watching the fireworks, refracted and and glistening, through the chunks of ice, until midnight, at which time they would return home. Christmas was celebrated quietly at home. It was considered extremely lucky to brake off a piece of the igloo and eat it, saying that it would increase your water chakra.  
  
Sasuke stared blankly at the alabaster snow that carpeted the ground.  
Sasuke? What's wrong? said Kakashi worriedly. Sasuke had become more withdrawn than usual in the past week.  
I... I don't like the igloo.  
gaped Naruto, how can you not like the igloo?  
My parents died the day after the festival.  
said Naruto, noticeably subdued.  
Kakashi placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, liking the way the boy's body felt against his. Kakashi thought he saw a tiny blush appear on Sasuke's face.  
I understand, Sasuke, but we're signed up for it.  
Sasuke nodded wordlessly.  
  
They waited a little longer for Sakura to show up before heading toward the center of the village, to where they working on the igloo. It was already, in width, bigger than the Uchiha mansion and was about one story high. Naruto laughed, began to run towards the igloo and promptly tripped over his own feet.  
  
Sasuke smiled to himself. Despite outward appearances, Sasuke really did like Naruto. He respected that Naruto tried so hard and found his clumsiness rather endearing. He just wished Naruto were a little quieter. Naruto always made him think of a little brother, something that he'd never had.  
  
Sasuke grimaced. There it was. That want, need, for something that he could never attain. He knew he couldn't have it, so why did he keep grasping for it so futilely? Sweat drenched fingers sliding across frosted glass, no grip. But it was as if there was no way to stop wanting, needing. Sasuke hated the helplessness that came with his failure to reach his desires, so he barricaded himself in an icy cavern, locking his heart away; and yet the fingers of desire still feebly tapped the walls of ice around his heart. Ice. Ice and snow. Like the snow in Kakashi's hair. Kakashi, beautiful, with his scarred Sharingan red eye and contrasting winter steel-sky colored eye. The mystery behind his mask. The grace behind the way his body moved. The- Sasuke stopped himself.  
  
No.  
  
No, don't let the ice began to melt and fracture. Keep it strong and thick. Damn Naruto for making him miss the feeling of a family's love. Damn Kakashi for making him want... making him want... everything.  
  
he was snapped back to reality at the sound of his name. It was Kakashi looking down, worried.  
I'm fine. Nothing wrong.  
  
They spent their day helping to haul buckets of ice and snow up to the workers on the wall. Naruto, of course, fell over and spilled his bucket. When Kakashi laughed, Naruto threw and ice ball at him, hitting him square in the mouth. In retaliation, Kakashi poured water down Naruto's shirt, tripped him and rolled him around in the snow so that it froze to his shirt. Sakura nearly died laughing when she saw the half-snowman Naruto.  
  
Sakura hadn't been hanging on him as much, realized Sasuke. As a matter of fact, he thought he saw her mooning over some other boy. That was a relief, but, as usual, it would break Naruto's heart. Or, maybe not. Naruto hadn't tried to pick Sakura up once today and he did seem to be staring off into space a lot.  
  
Sasuke may have only one person that he loves, but he can't certainly spot the symptoms on anyone else. Only one person that...? Who did he love? His mother and father were gone and he hated Itachi, so who could it be?  
  
At that moment, one of Naruto's ice balls missed Kakashi and hit Sasuke, he whirled around and ended up looking right into Kakashi's eyes.  
  
Kakashi. Silver hair mingled with equally pure snow. Winter steel-sky colored eye looking right into Sasuke's obsidian. Kakashi's mask was slipping down a tiny bit, allowing Sasuke to see soft, white skin.  
  
Kakashi glanced around to see if the ice ball had hit anyone and had caught sight of an extremely annoyed Sasuke. But when his eyes locked with Sasuke's, his expression changed. Sasuke had the strangest look of desperation, disbelief and hope on his face.  
  
Kakashi couldn't stop staring at Sasuke. His pale skin, cheeks tinged the palest pink by the cold. His black bangs making delicate shadows on his face. His mouth, opened slightly as if to speak. And his eye, his eyes. The darkest black there was. They seemed to absorb light and yet, at times, they spilled out raw emotion.  
  
It appeared that a vulpine cupid had hit his mark, making the beginning of a chink in the ice.


	3. Some one flying, only stolen

Unfinished Solo Duet  
Chapter Three  
Someone Flying, Only Stolen  
  
Kakashi sighed. Life was too complicated. Too much. Sometimes he wasn't even sure how he managed to get out of bed in the mornings. He just wanted to give up, lay there and rot. But something inside him wouldn't let him. He wasn't allowed to. Get up. Get out of bed. Get in the shower. Go. Live. It seemed a simple thing to do but it was so hard.  
  
This... this thing with Sasuke was getting way too hard to handle on his own. He needed advice badly. There was only one person that he could think of that he could talk to. Iruka. Kakashi really needed the advice, but he was worried that Iruka would think he was sick and wouldn't want to be around him anymore. Kakashi had few enough friends as it was. Swallowing his worries, Kakashi decided to go talk to Iruka.  
  
said Iruka, smiling at Kakashi from the other side of the table, what was it that you wanted to talk about?  
Um... I'm... I'm in love with someone...  
Iruka stared.  
No. Way. Kakashi? The mysterious Always-Hiding-Behind-A-Mask-Or-A-Dirty-Book Kakashi is in _love_?! Is the world ending? Is it Armageddon?  
  
Sorry. I know. It's still rather hard to believe. So, what's up?  
What if... what if the person were younger than me?  
How much younger?  
About nine years.  
Well, that's not so bad. That would make them nineteen. Iruka shrugged indifferently.  
Kakashi turned his head away, What if they were one of my students?  
Iruka stayed silent for a moment.  
Well... that makes it a little different, but not by much.  
What do you mean, not by much'?  
Student/teacher relationships are actually quite common among shinobi.  
What? I didn't know that.  
It makes sense though, doesn't it? Teachers know their students better than anyone and spend a lot of time with them. It only makes sense that they might develop a little more than a platonic relationship. Especially if they do something big, like save each other's lives, or something.  
What... what about male/male relationships?  
Iruka raised an eyebrow, but looked slightly worried.  
Before I answer that, who _is_ it that you love?  
... Sasuke...  
Iruka gave a sigh of relief.  
In that case, fine.  
It was Kakashi's turn to raise an eyebrow.  
What do you mean, in that case'?  
Iruka did what he did best, blushed.  
Ah, well... I just mean, if it were Naruto...  
Naruto? Hang on, how come you know all this stuff about shinobi relationships in the first place?  
Iruka blushed even harder.  
I... I did background research, even asked the Hokage...  
Oh, you mean that you and Naruto are-  
  
That would explain a lot, said Kakashi with a grin, anyway, back to the point. What about male/male relationships?  
Those are pretty normal, too. The majority of shinobi are male so it only makes sense that spending all that time together and helping each other on missions and stuff, that they would, well...  
I get the point. So basically you're saying, I'm _not_ a disgusting pervert?  
I never said _that_. I'm just saying that you're not a pedophile.  
Ah, well, thanks. Learned a lot. Have _fun_ with Naruto! Kakashi got up to leave and Iruka blushed some more.  
I'll ask Naruto about Sasuke, ok? The kid's actually pretty good when it comes to these sorts of things.  
  
Don't mention it! called Iruka as Kakashi walked out.  
  
The conversation with Iruka had calmed Kakashi down a bit and made him feel a little more reassured. At least, he knew that he wasn't about to try and cross some taboo. Over course, Sasuke showing any affection seemed to be taboo, so in a way, he was.  
But how was he going to get Sasuke to love him? The only thing that Sasuke seemed to have a passion for was fighting. Fighting... Kakashi had an idea.  
  
Lily: yeah, yeah, i know, a bit short. but to me this chapter ws sort of vital. i really think that these sort of relationships would make sense in the shinobi world, i was merely trying to explain what i saw.  
Phantom: i think it makes sense.  
Fly-Girl: hm? what? oh sorry, i was reading.  
Phantom & Lily: -.-'


	4. I can't see, this light so old

Lily: sorry that i haven't updated sooner. i was on a road trip, y'know, family reunion crap.  
Phantom: then her mom was all pissy about us spending so much time on the comp...  
Fly-Girl: then we had to scan some stuff for her dad...  
Lily: so... yeah.  
  
Unfinished Solo Duet  
Chapter Four  
I can't tell, this light so old  
  
The next morning, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura waited in the frigid air for Kakashi to show up. As usual he was late. After Naruto and Sakura had yelled at him and Kakashi had come up with a really bad excuse, they got down to the real work of the day.  
said Kakashi, I've decided, that to test your skills, each of you will fight against me, by yourself. After the match I'll tel you what to work on and you go home and practice.  
  
Fighting against Kakashi? Alone? This would be interesting... Sasuke smirked. Kakashi and him all alone in the forest... stop that. God. Where did that come from? Focus only on your work, Sasuke. Don't let anything get past you.  
  
Sakura went up against Kakashi. Her cunning allowed her to actually hold a good match against him for awhile, using copies and shadows of herself to fight him. But Kakashi soon located Sakura's really form, hidden under the snow.  
Very good, Sakura. I want you to go home and practice on your strength, or some strength jutsu at least.  
Sakura nodded and began to shuffle through the snow towards her house.  
  
Naruto managed to fight Kakashi longer than Sakura, at one moment, pinning him down with three of his dopplegangers, but Kakashi quickly threw them off and caught Naruto. Naruto probably could have fought longer but he kept laughing and giving away his hiding place.  
Much better, Naruto. I want you to practice being _quiet_. Go see how long you can stalk Iruka or something, just be quiet.  
Naruto pouted and began to head back to the village.  
  
It was Sasuke's turn.  
  
Sasuke and Kakashi stood in the snow, neither wanting to make the first move, both thinking of plans. Suddenly, Sasuke dived into the snow covered ground, remembering what Kakashi had done the first time that they had fought. Huh, thought Kakashi, he learns fast. Kakashi pushed his headband up, revealing the crimson glow of his Sharingan eye. Kakashi listened for Sasuke's thoughts.  
  
I'll come up right under him, knock him off his feet and then go for the chest, that might work. Pity, I might have to stab him, he really is nicely built, would hate to ruin- stop it. Focus.  
  
Kakashi wasn't sure whether to laugh or grin stupidly. So, Uchiha Sasuke might have a crush on his sensei... very nice. Kakashi stepped back a little ways, preparing for Sasuke to jump up from under the snow. Just as predicted, Sasuke leapt out of the snow, some of it still clinging to his hair and flesh, making him shimmer, looking unearthly. Kakashi grabbed Sasuke's ankle and pulled him downwards. Sasuke tried to hide his surprise as he kicked Kakashi's wrist, flipping backwards. Then he spotted it. The Sharingan eye. That made sense, no wonder Kakashi had known what he was going to do.  
  
Sasuke threw out several shuriken as he landed on the powdery ground. Kakashi leapt up and flung the shuriken back, Sasuke leaned back, dodging them. (Lily: ha ha. I watched the Matrix again...) Sasuke began to do the symbols for Breath of the Fireball and Kakashi began to copy him. Sasuke was so concentrated in his work that he didn't notice. Sasuke whipped his head up and blew out a monstrous, only just noticing the fireball coming his way. The fireballs met in midair, sending out sparks to land, hissing in the snow.  
  
Sasuke jumped backwards and used a tree to kick off. He held his kunai sideways, aimed at Kakashi. To Sasuke's surprise, Kakashi jumped forward, into the path of the kunai. The knife's edge sliced through Kakashi and he vanished. A doppleganger?! thought Sasuke. His feet skidded in the slushy snow, seeping between his toes.   
  
Sasuke felt something warm circle his waist. Sasuke gasped and began to wriggle against whatever it was, but his arms were pinned to his sides. Sasuke whipped his head around, only to end up nudging it against something solid and warm. What in the world? he thought. Sasuke's raven eyes connected with knife steel and blood red. Kakashi. Kakashi was holding Sasuke, backwards, against his chest. He's _hugging_ me, thought Sasuke, he's hugging _me,_ of all people. Oh god. What do I do?  
  
Kakashi laughed to himself. Sometimes Sasuke's mind could be very like Naruto's. Was it just the cold that was causing Sasuke's cheeks to flush pink like that, or was it something else? Kakashi _really_ wished Sasuke would stop squirming like that, it was making his body begin to react in a way that wasn't exactly appropriate for the moment. As if Sasuke had read Kakashi's mind, he stopped moving and relaxed back into Kakashi's arms. Kakashi caught a flicker of thought from Sasuke. Might as well enjoy it. It may be the only time he ever touches me like this. Oh, no it won't be, thought Kakashi, not if I can help it.  
said Kakashi, placing his cloth covered chin on the top of Sasuke's head, are you going to come to the winter festival?  
What? thought Sasuke. What does that have to do with anything?  
No. I wasn't planning on it.  
It'd be nice if you went.  
No, it wouldn't be nice. The winter festival is for families and friends, I have neither. My family died the day after that festival. I'm not going.  
No friends? You have plenty of friends, Sakura, Naruto, despite what he says, Iruka and me, to name a few. As for family... well, lots of people think of their friends as family, I know I do.  
I still don't want to go.  
Naruto doesn't have family and he's going.  
Sasuke was silent.  
Iruka's taking Naruto along as his... family. continued Kakashi.  
Sasuke was still silent.  
Come on, you'll be missed. said Kakashi, beginning to struggle for words.  
By who?  
Um... well, Naruto will... ah... I will miss you. Kakashi said the last part very quietly, so that only Sasuke could hear. The cloth of Kakashi's mask brushed against Sasuke's ear, making him shiver against the older shinobi's body.  
He'll miss me, thought Sasuke, what's that supposed to mean? Does he mean as a student? Or... something else. Kakashi had heard the thought and replied accordingly.  
Not just as a sensei with his student, of course. You're more than that, Sasuke, much more...  
Sasuke shivered again. What could it hurt? He might even enjoy himself.  
Fine, I'll go.  
Good! I'll pick you up in two days at seven, just before the real fun starts at the festival.  
Sasuke nodded, his hair brushing across Kakashi's cheek. That had sounded like a date...  
  
Kakashi let Sasuke go. Sasuke stayed facing away for a moment, trying to get the blush to subside from his face. He turned around to face Kakashi.  
By the way, Sasuke. I think it might be a good idea for you to study the Sharingan jutsu. You might be advanced enough to learn it.  
Sasuke nodded and began to head back home, actually impatient, wanting the short winter days to hurry up.  
  
Kakashi looked up at the frost encrusted trees. A small drop of icy water hit his cheek and slid under his mask, into his mouth. The ice was beginning to melt.


	5. I don't wanna swim the ocean

Lily: sorry i haven't updated this in awhile. i was stuck in a major rut and wasn't even sure if i wanted to finish this story, but then i remembered all the wonderful reviews that i had gotten. by the way, this chapter is dedicated to Firedraygon97, one of my most favorite fans! i hope you enjoy your Kakashi plushie. I love all my darling reviewers! *hugs reviewers and all the gifts they gave her*  
  
Unfinished Solo Duet  
Chapter Five  
I don't wanna swim the ocean  
  
To Sasuke's surprise, he was actually impatient. He wanted the next two days to be over and done with. He was too excited to sleep, but not sleeping just made the days even longer. It was with great relief that Sasuke opened the door at seven o'clock, not that he let it show. Kakashi smiled under his mask.  
  
He was wearing his usual clothes, but Sasuke had actually changed from his usual clothes for something of the winter equivalent. He wore a pair of black pants and a long sleeved, high collared shirt that was such a dark blue you could hardly tell it apart from the pants.  
  
said Kakashi nonchalantly, you ready to go?  
Sasuke answered in his normal, emotionless tone. Kakashi might have frowned under his mask, but Sasuke couldn't tell.  
The two began to walk to the igloo. The snow that covered the ground turned to slush under their feet, soaked into their shoes and froze their toes.   
  
Sasuke never really noticed the weather. He was always cold. He, himself, didn't feel cold, but when people touched him, which was a very rare occurrence, they often remarked on how cold he felt. This didn't matter to Sasuke, it didn't seem to affect him in any direct way, so why should it matter?  
  
The igloo was monstrous, Sasuke couldn't help but be a little admiring of it. On the inside families had set up folding chairs, or laid pieces of plywood on the damp ground and covered them with blankets. Stands were set up around the perimeter of the igloo, selling food or gifts, there were even a few fire works stands.  
Some hailed Kakashi and Sasuke,  
Oy! Over here!  
Obviously, it was Naruto. He sat on one of the blanket covered planks, wearing an oversized orange down vest and snuggling up as close to the furiously blushing Iruka as possible. Sakura was also sitting on the blanket, she had Lee's head in her lap and was coming her fingers through his thick green hair. Kakashi and Sasuke headed over to the blanket and sat down. Sasuke sat by Lee's feet with Kakashi next to him.  
  
What took you so long? said Naruto with a grin.  
Nothing, idiot, said Sasuke blandly.  
Feh, fine be that way, Sasuke. Big eyebrows over there was just-  
Sakura smacked Naruto.  
Naruto! Don't insult my boy friend, if you do, I'll insult yours. Sakura raised an eyebrow and glanced in Iruka's direction.  
Eh. Sorry, Sakura-chan,  
You better be.  
Now, now, said Kakashi, putting his hands on the two fighting shinobi's heads, the whole point of this gathering is to be together with friends and family, he paused for a moment, thinking, ... and to get so extremely drunk that when you wake up you won't remember what happened!  
said Iruka sounding annoyed, You can't let them have alcohol!  
Hey, they're old enough to have sex, so I say they're old enough to drink.  
You are so...  
Awesome? Cool? A great sensei?  
... immoral.  
I'm hurt.  
Naruto interrupted, Iruka, could I get some ramen?  
Naruto, you just had ramen!  
I know, but look they have a ramen stand right over there.  
  
Naruto played his ace. He made the saddest face he could, flung his arms around Iruka's waist and buried his face in his chest.  
  
Oh, all right, sighed Iruka, handing Naruto some money. Naruto grinned like crazy and ran off. Kakashi sniggered,  
You are such a push over.  
Hey, you try resisting him when he does the puppy dog thing.  
  
While Sasuke was watching this, the ghost of a smile playing across his face, Sakura leaned over and whispered in his ear,  
So, which one do you think is uke?  
said Sasuke looking surprised.  
I mean Naruto and Iruka. Which one do you think is the uke?  
Yeah, added Lee, by the way Iruka blushes, I'd say it was him, but that would just be odd... he trailed off and went back to gazing adoringly at Sakura who giggled and fiddled with the hair that hung over his ears.  
  
Naruto came back and sat down, clutching a bowl of ramen to his chest. Wreathes of humid mist rose from it curling in the cold air. Naruto sighed,  
I love you,  
Thank you, said Iruka, beaming.  
Um... I meant the ramen, but I love you too. he kissed Iruka on the cheek.  
  
Sasuke suppressed a smile. Kakashi was actually right, this was sort of fun. Just sitting with friends and talking about random things, it all had an oddly out of body feeling to it, as if Sasuke weren't really there. One of those moments where the whole world feels a little too hazy, because if it weren't you wouldn't be able to handle the sheer joy of living in that moment.  
  
Kakashi leaned back and watched Sasuke. The boy actually looked happy. The corner of his mouth kept twitching, trying to stretch into a smile, but something was keeping it from doing so. Kakashi reached out a hand to tap Sasuke on the shoulder, his fingers accidentally brushing the boy's graceful neck. Kakashi jerked his hand back and Sasuke twitched.  
said Kakashi, Sasuke, you're freezing!  
I don't feel cold.  
I'm serious, feel him Iruka, he feels like ice.  
Iruka put a hand on Sasuke's forehead.  
Gah! You're right! It's like sticking your hand on an ice cube!  
Sasuke was slightly flustered. Two people had just touched him in succession. People rarely touched him unless he was fighting them. This contact caused an odd sensation, especially when Kakashi brushed his neck.  
Lemme see, interrupted Naruto, clapping a hand to Sasuke's face, Waah! Frost bite!  
You serious? Sakura pressed the palm of her hand to Sasuke's forehead and Lee put his hand alongside hers.  
Man, Sasuke, he exclaimed, aren't you cold? I would be.  
Sasuke leaned back, hunching his shoulders around his ears, painfully aware of the flush that was creeping across his ears and cheeks.  
S- stop that. I'm not cold. I feel fine. I could say that you all are just overly warm.  
muttered Naruto as he slurped his ramen and snuggled up to Iruka.  
  
Kakashi tried not to laugh. It was entertaining to see Sasuke get embarrassed. The little glow of pink that crept across his features, they way his eyes widened, his mouth dropped a little as he breathed heavily and he impulsively scooted backwards. It was a cute sight. It was odd to describe Sasuke as cute, seeing how he was more along the lines of beautiful, but when he showed such an uncharacteristic emotion, that's what he was.  
  
There was a sound of air hissing, a bang and then the first firework went off. An explosion of color, refracted and broken in to millions of glittering snow flakes, caught in the mirrors of the ice. Sasuke, Kakashi, Iruka, Naruto, Sakura and Lee all watched as explosion after explosion took place, reflected in their eyes, in their hearts. Emotion. Move me. This horrible build up until I reach the top. I can't stand this level of emotion anymore, it's just too much. Let me burst and fall, I know you'll be there when I can take it.  
  
Sasuke remembered the night before his parents died. His mother, father, Itachi and himself had been sitting under the same dome of ice. Sasuke had been curled up next to Itachi, his head resting on his beloved brother's ribs, liking the warmth and care that filled him when Itachi was near. But when Sasuke looked up into Itachi's eyes, he didn't see a reflection of the star bursts in the sky. He saw bleak pools of despair, black holes.  
  
Sasuke looked around him. Iruka had his arms wrapped around Naruto's small frame. Lee was sitting up, his spine nestled in the curve of Sakura's stomach, her chin resting on his head. Kakashi sat with his knees pulled up, his cloth covered chin resting on top of them. All, even the indefinable Kakashi, had the glisten and spangle of fireworks written in their eyes. Sasuke knew that if he looked into a mirror at that moment, he would see an exact duplicate of the darkness he had seen in Itachi's eyes.  
  
He wanted this emotion, this caring, this love. But he couldn't have it. He was broken, under his wall of ice, he was cold. Frost caked his wounds, froze his blood and bit into his skin. He wanted warmth, but he couldn't have it. Sasuke was an avenger, a shinobi. An avenger doesn't need love, only fulfillment of his task. A shinobi doesn't need care, he is solitary, fending for himself.  
  
Only Kakashi noticed when Sasuke got up from the blanket and walked away from the sparkling castle of ice, so similar to the boy's heart.


	6. I don't wanna swim forever

Lily: yeaaahhhh, i sorta made a decision that this fic won't go on much longer, just one chapter after this.  
Fly-Girl: but we're still damn proud of it!  
Phantom: *spikes his hat* hell yeah!  
  
Unfinished Solo Duet  
Chapter Six  
I don't wanna swim forever  
  
Sasuke sat in the center of his parents bed. It was a large white bed, with white pillows and white sheets. His parents whole room was white. It had taken days for him to scrub the blood stains out of the carpet, the wall, the bed. But he still knew were every little splash and fleck of scarlet had been, it was burned into the back of his mind. It was there whenever he closed.   
  
Scarlet on white.   
  
Blood in the snow.   
  
The end of the hunt.   
  
The wolves had caught the deer.  
  
Every anniversary of his parents death, Sasuke would sit in their white room, in the middle of their white bed and put his white mouth to the ice-pure metal of his flute and play and play and play and play until his lips cracked and bled on the sheets. He would clean them later. It didn't matter if he had training or a mission or anything, he did this every time.  
  
Sasuke sat there, sheets of music scattered all around him like giant snowflakes. Sasuke's ebony hair, his obsidian eyes and the ink of the notes were the only traces of a color other than white in that room.  
  
Sasuke wanted to forget, wanted to live, but with every note that slid from his throat to mouth to flute to the sky he remembered more and more. The way his mother would throw her head back when she laughed. they way his father grabbed him around around the waist and swung him in the air like he was flying. The way Itachi would give him that tiny, love filled smile every time that Sasuke showed him his new shinobi skills.  
  
Why me?  
  
Life had been orderly then. Perfect. Clean. But ever since their death Sasuke's life had been a turmoil of confusion. He retained the semblance of organization but deep down things were breaking.  
  
Why me? Onii-chan, why? Onii... chan? Okaa... chan? Slit throat. Eyes open... Oyaji-chan? Stabbed in the heart. Doki Doki. Break mine. Onii-chan? Blood on the bedspread. Doki Doki. Okaa-chan has her kitchen apron on. I stepped in the blood. Doki Doki. There is blood on me. Blood on my hands. Doki Doki. It's my fault. My fault, my fault. I didn't stop him. Didn't Doki stop Doki him Doki stop Doki him Doki stop Doki him. I was too weak, have to be strong for next time.   
  
Sasuke didn't even notice the tears that slid down his face and spattered the blanket.


	7. When it's cold I'd like to die

  
Solo Unfinished Duet  
Chapter Seven  
When it's cold I'd like to die  
  
Kakashi couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand watching Sasuke like this anymore. when the boy hadn't come to training that day, Kakashi waited until the end of the session to go check on him. When Kakashi had gotten there at five, Sasuke had been playing all alone, now at nine, he had finally stopped from exhaustion. He just lay there in the bed, surrounded by sheets of music. Kakashi couldn't see him like this.  
  
Kakashi slid through the window. Sasuke spoke in a dead, flat voice without even looking up.  
Why are you here?  
All duets need two people,  
What if the other person can't play?  
They can learn,  
Sasuke was silent.  
Or they can be the audience.  
But no one wants to listen to a _solo_ duet.  
Kakashi whispered softly as he drew nearer, kneeling beside Sasuke,  
I do,  
Liar. Always were. A horrible one at that. We never believed your excuses.  
I'm not lying Sasuke. I could love you.  
Sasuke rolled over so that he was looking up at Kakashi.  
Do you? was all he could say.  
  
Kakashi pulled his mask down with one finger. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth over Sasuke's cracked lips. Sasuke arched his neck, leaning up into the kiss. He's so cold, thought Kakashi. Sasuke whimpered slightly as Kakashi slid his tongue into the boy's mouth. Kakashi had never seen Sasuke so vulnerable, so sad, so soft. So human.  
  
How can you do this? thought Sasuke as he arched towards Kakashi's body. How can you make me feel like this?  
  
The ice is melting, trickling in my stomach, making it flutter with anticipation, sloughing down my legs, making my knees buckle. It's not fair. How can you make me feel like this?  
  
Sasuke brought his arms up around Kakashi's neck, untying the mask completely, as well as the head band. Sasuke looked into Kakashi's face. God, he was gorgeous. He must look better than me, came the hazy thought. Sasuke dragged his thin fingers across the pale skin of Kakashi's face.  
  
White skin.  
Red eyes.  
Scarlet on white.  
Blood in the snow.  
Doki Doki.  
  
Sasuke's heart beat faster as Kakashi slid a burning hand across his icy flesh. Burn me. Melt me. Take the cold away. Kiss me until I bleed. Just make me feel again, because I'm just so tired of this nothing. Of this ice. This eternal winter. Kakashi gasped as Sasuke's frigid fingers traced over his back. Sasuke splayed his whole hand on Kakashi's back, pressing down for warmth.  
His skin was getting warmer.  
  
The ice is melting.  
Can't you see the water running down my face?  
  
Melt me. Make me feel. Make me want again. Damn. Clothes. Skin. In the way. Sasuke slid his fingers down, pulling off Kakashi's shirt before beginning to tug at the hem of his pants. Need more contact. Need to touch. Need to feel. Press against each other until our blood runs together and our hearts beat as one.  
  
Sasuke moaned and threw his head back. Burning. Heat. Yes. Doki Doki. Kakashi slid his fingers through Sasuke's sweat slicked hair.  
  
I'm warm. I can feel it. The ice is melting, can't you tell? You're heating it up. it's running through my body. Warm water. Liquid fire. I'm not cold anymore, Onii-chan! I'm not cold anymore!  
  
Kakashi pressed his mouth against Sasuke's lips, warm now.  
  
Sasuke blinked. It was morning. There was sun coming in through the windows, pale icy sun that seemed delicate and brittle. Kakashi was curled behind him, his arms draped over Sasuke's shoulders. Kakashi yawned and Sasuke laughed quietly. When was the last time he had laughed? He didn't remember. Kakashi was kissing the back of Sasuke's neck now. Sasuke would roll over and Kakashi would tell him that he loved him and he would smile and then Sasuke would say that he loved him, too and he would smile and then Kakashi would look rather surprised and then Sasuke would laugh again. And after that... neither really cared. Melted together. Red, black, white and gray. Warm against the winter cold.  
  
~Owari  
  
  
Lily: o.O I have NO IDEA where the last two chapters came from. i did what i did with the first, just sat and typed. whoa. and it was actually sort of lemonish...  
Fly-Girl: i like them, though.  
Phantom: blood...  
  



End file.
